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It is a very common and normal occurrence for children under the ages of 4 and 5 to steal items that don't belong to them. The reason for this is that they do not understand the concept of stealing. Children need to learn about personal property and not taking things without permission. Children under five tend to be self-centered and their main focus is on obtaining what they want and seeing what they want. Hence, parents and grandparents must teach their children how to ask permission to borrow, use, or take someone else's valuables in the right way. The schools, youth programs, or neighbors of parents who neglect these essential lessons frequently call about their kid's theft issues, causing embarrassment.
Why Do Children Steal?
When you have a young child, it’s important to remember that their brain is still developing. At an early age, children lack the experience and judgment necessary to make good decisions.
This can make it challenging to explain why your child steals. Children might take things because they’re curious, forget that they own it, or it’s a pent-up desire to have things their own size.
However, there are other factors that can explain your child’s stealing. Kids who are in difficult situations or experiencing certain stresses might take things so they feel less stressed. Educating your child and helping him understand the reasons behind his stealing can help prevent future problems.
Teach By Example
When you constantly let your child know that stealing is not okay, they are more likely to understand why they did it. So, when they see you with your wallet out or something that belongs to someone else, they might think it’s OK to do the same. This is a bad example, so you need to be careful about what you do.
In this way, you can use the wallet example as an analogy. For example, you keep your wallet in your pocket, so your child sees you do it. If your child has a similar curiosity and wants to see what’s inside your wallet, you need to stop her from doing so. You can do so by taking your wallet out or by putting it away.
Be Consistent And Communicate Often
When kids don’t know what boundaries and consequences are, they are more likely to break rules and steal. This is because they don’t know what is allowed, what is not allowed, or what the consequences are. So, you need to be consistent and communicate often. For example, when your child borrows something, you need to let him know when he gives it back. When he takes something without your consent, you need to catch him and talk with him about what he did.
You can also follow up with consequences or follow-up messages such as, “I saw that you took your sister’s toy. I’m disappointed in you.”
Don't Overreact When You Catch Your Child Stealing
Let’s say, your child steals and you catch him. You need to not overreact and keep a calm head. Instead of yelling and punishing him, show him what he did wrong and how it affects you.
Set Boundaries For Your Child
Children steal because they want to control the situation and what they see as positive reinforcement. Therefore, you need to set boundaries to teach your child that it’s not OK to steal things. For example, you can remind your child that you get to choose what he or she has access to. You can also set rules such as, “You can’t take things that belong to other people.”
To teach your child not to steal, you can also set up a discipline system. Discipline may include taking away privileges or putting something away until he or she earns it back.
In Summary
If your child steals things often, you might be wondering what’s wrong. There are many reasons why a child would take things without permission. Sometimes, stealing is due to curiosity, forgetting that they own it, or it’s a pent-up desire to have things their own size. There are also reasons why your child might be stealing, such as:
- Not knowing how to ask for something they want, such as a new toy.
- Not understanding the value of something they have.
- Not knowing how to deal with financial worries.
- Feeling stressed and pressured by some outside source, such as a bully at school.
- Feeling lonely and not having enough friends at home.
If your child steals often, you can teach them how to ask for what they want. You can also teach them the value of what they have and how to deal with financial hardships.
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